One thing that we all have in common is the fact that we all have a substantial number of things that we believe are true. Unfortunately, a lot of those beliefs are actually not true. The real challenge is that we aren’t sure which ones are true and which ones are not.

We have all sorts of beliefs about all sorts of things. We have beliefs about what is going to happen in the future; the sun will rise, there will be a game on tonight at 7:00 on channel 10, we’re having roast beef for dinner tonight.

There are other beliefs that may be more questionable: working up a sweat at the gym is a great way to burn Calories and get in shape, news anchors are telling us the truth, Santonio Holmes did get his second foot down for the game winning touchdown catch in Super Bowl XXXXIII. 

Our entire lives are influenced and informed by the various things we believe. Some beliefs are pretty inconsequential. Someone introduces themself and tells us their name and we believe that is, in fact, their name. They could be lying, but we generally tend to believe them and, even if they gave us a false name, in most cases it doesn’t make much difference in our lives.

There are other things we believe that have a more significant impact on our lives, however, like the supposed catch by Holmes in 2009 where the famous photo of the catch clearly shows only one foot making contact with the ground. 

Perhaps more significant than that, though, we believe there are certain things we ought to teach our children. We believe there are certain solutions to problems that affect our families or our community. We believe that certain people are doing certain things around the world, for good or for ill. We believe that God exists and is all loving and good. Or we don’t.

The challenge with some of these beliefs is that other people may believe things that are in direct conflict with what we believe, ourselves. In those situations, what do we do? Well, as much as it may sound cliche and even unhelpful, the answer is…it depends.

Of course, since we’re not talking about any one specific thing, it depends on any number of factors. But the one area common to pretty much all of these situations that I’d like to focus on right now is certainty. Of all the various, complex constellation of beliefs we have, we hold many of these beliefs with varying degrees of certainty. There are some things about which we are very certain and others, not quite so much.

When we get right down to it, there are very, very few things about which we can be absolutely, 100% certain. For example, I am absolutely certain that 1+1=2. I know that fact to the extent that there is no argument that could be made that would ever be able to change my mind about it without altering the meaning of one or more of the terms in that statement.

Apart from mathematical truths, however, I can’t think of a single thing about which I am 100% certain except maybe that “I exist” (hat tip to René Descartes). When it comes to perhaps every other belief I hold, I recognize that there is at least some possibility that I could be wrong. 

For some things, my certainty is relatively low. When it comes to those things, if they come up in a conversation with someone who holds an opposing belief, I might not advocate very hard for my position because the chances are higher in those cases that I could be wrong. In having a discussion with someone with an opposing view, I might change my belief, or perhaps my degree of certainty. If my position does not stand up well to scrutiny, my certainty decreases. If it does stand up, it increases.

There are other things which I have spent more time investigating, researching, looking at arguments on various sides and assessing the strength of those arguments in order to come to a reasonable conclusion about what I believe to be true or not true. For those sorts of things, my level of certainty is a good deal higher and it is going to take a lot more work for someone to sway me away from that particular belief.

When it comes to discussing conflicting beliefs, particularly if the subject is one that has the potential to have a significant impact on people’s lives, things can sometimes get a little heated. It would be best if we could avoid angry, impulsive reactions and have a calm and respectful discussion, though I know that this is far easier said than done.

Coming from a Biblical worldview, I try to keep in mind a few passages from the Bible when engaging in a discussion with someone who disagrees with me on something significant. Now, note that I said that I “try” to keep these in mind, not that I am completely successful every single time.

Here are three passages that I try to think about and allow them to inform my interactions during these kinds of discussions:

²³ for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God,
 – Romans 3:23

This passage reminds me that we are all flawed. None of us is perfect. It is a great reminder that, while I think another person might be wrong, I have to keep in mind that it may be me who is wrong. Therefore, I should engage with other people with a certain amount of humility. I am not perfect, so it could be that I’m the one who has to change my position on any given issue.

How about this one:

¹⁷The one who states his case first seems right,
until the other comes and examines him.
– Proverbs 18:7

I like this one because I have noticed that it is increasingly a problem in today’s culture that people retreat to their own echo chambers when confronted with ideas with which they disagree or simply do not like. If we are seeking truth, our beliefs must be able to stand up to challenges. 

If we stay in our corners and only surround ourselves with people who already agree with us, we can’t learn anything. The body only gets stronger when it is forced to adapt to heavy loads. If we never challenge our bodies to exert more force, our muscles will atrophy and we will become weak and sick. 

The same is true for our beliefs. If we don’t challenge them with contrary ideas and arguments, they become weak and useless. This is especially the case if that belief happens to be one of those that turn out to not be true. The longer we hold on to untrue beliefs because we’re afraid to allow them to be challenged, the more likely those beliefs are to cause actual damage in our lives or in the lives of others. 

Finally, there’s this little nugget:

¹⁹ Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger;
 – James 1:19

This verse is a real challenge for me. I included it here, not because I do a great job following it, but because I know that I ought to. Of the three passages I’ve shared, this one is, by far, the most challenging for me. There are certain areas where I can be overly sensitive and my skin tends to be somewhat thin and, when those areas are poked, I am more likely to react.

Reacting is bad. Responding is better.

So, when you are engaging in a conversation with someone who disagrees with you on some significant issue, I want to encourage you to think about the level of certainty you have in your own position. If you are less certain, avoid digging in your heels and be open-minded.

Even if you are very certain, remember that:

1. Nobody is perfect, including you. It may be you who has to change your position
2. Having your views and beliefs challenged helps you get closer to truth and refines your beliefs so that you can be more confident about them.
3. Listen carefully to what others are saying and don’t react in anger or spend your time thinking about what you’re going to say next. Aim for clarity and understanding.

Here’s another belief that I have: If more people (including myself) were to do things this way, there would be much less anger and division in our culture, our country and our entire world.

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I hope this was helpful and thought-provoking for you. Please feel free to leave me any feedback you may have…respectfully, of course.

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